2 Awkward Relationship Questions and How To Ask Them

A new relationship can be one of the most exciting things that happens to us. It’s likely that we’ve already told everyone we know, and that we do everything we can to spend time with our new boyfriend or girlfriend. However, once the “honeymoon” period cools off and you want to get a little more serious, several questions might pop into your head. The problem is, the ones that are the most pressing can also be the ones that are the hardest to ask. However, help is at hand. Remember that it is normal to ask your partner questions and any relationship worth having is built on trust and communication. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable for asking a genuine, sensible question then maybe they’re not the one for you. That goes for friendships too. But if you’re kind, calm, and confident when you ask, you’ll find that your partner will respect your honesty. They may even be glad you asked!

Question: Sexual Partners and STDs

How to Ask:

Wanting a partner to take an STD test before things get serious can be one of the most awkward questions we have to ask. But it shouldn’t be! If we are sexually active and they have been too, it is reasonable and adult to want to be safe. The best way to approach it is for it to be in a non-accusing tone. “I want you to take an STD test” is insensitive at best and quite insulting. “I’m thinking of getting checked out for STDs so maybe we could go together” might be a more friendly approach and involves you in the suggestion too. You are not accusing them or insulting them. You are being safe, and it is important they understand that. Click here if you need more information or want to do a little research.

Question: Their Last Relationship

How to Ask:

Sometimes, people are only too quick to talk about their last relationship. You might already be tired of hearing about so-and-so’s flaws or how and why it all fell apart! Maybe it’s not even negative. Perhaps your new partner speaks respectfully about their ex and just acknowledges that things weren’t meant to be. But it can become a little uncomfortable if no mention has been made whatsoever and you’re curious. Be aware that past relationships may have been painful or even that your partner may not be talking about them out of respect for you. Never approach this subject in a pressured or aggressive way. Always try to approach it with good humour and a genuine interest if there is something you want to know. If you want to know what happened and why it didn’t work out, then ask honestly. Maybe broach it with “You’ve mentioned (name) before and I was wondering why it didn’t work out?” Or even “You’ve never mentioned your past relationships and I’m a little curious”. Keep it light and breezy. Be prepared for the fact that they may not want to talk about it. But only you can decide if you are comfortable with that or not.

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