5 Ways to Prep for the Bachelorette Premiere  

When the Bachelor ended, we all lost a piece of our souls.

On Monday May 23^rd, the wait will finally be over. Mondays will once-again fill the gaping hole in your non-existent social life and the endless stream of recaps will let you live the experience all over again on Tuesdays.

Here are 5 ways to get ready for what will be the most exciting thing to happen to you all month.

• Creep the shit out of the contestants ahead of time 

[alternate: Creep the contestants like it’s your day job]

ABC has already revealed the 26 contestants with bios AND the highlights of episode 1. If you swing hard right on the no-spoilers front, maybe skip this step. Career titles this year include a lot of former ______’s (aka their actual career is too boring to televise), “superfan”, erectile dysfunction specialist, and “Canadian” … Oh and even “hipster” made the cut this year. It’s like the producers are trying to one-up themselves after “Twin” set the bar for acceptable by-lines. But who cares, no one talks about their job after episode 1 anyways.

Also, it’s totally normal to think that all of the contestants are ugly during the first episode and question your undying commitment to the Bachelorette. Don’t worry, they’ll grow on you.

Click here to meet this year’s line-up!

2. Recruit some friends trust me… 

The Bachelorette is 10x better when you watch it  with someone else. I am lucky to share my deep appreciation for reality TV with my sister, she is hardcore, like watches-every-episode-of-Bachelor-in-paradise hardcore. Our parents also like to join in, awkwardly lurking as they stand in the kitchen, unable to resist the amazing cinematic experience that is the Bachelorette.

[alternate: unable to resist the emotional roller coaster that is the Bachelorette.]

If you can’t find any friends or force your parent/boyfriend/roommate to watch with you, I recommend securing a pet ASAP.  Your incredibly insightful commentary deserves to be heard, even if by a goldfish you named Brad.

If all else fails, DM me on Twitter.

3. Get your drink on

Judging people on their looks and surface-level personalities while wallowing in self-pity about how obsessed you are with JoJo only gets more fun while drinking. Wine is the obvious go-to choice. I would love to give you some wine reccos but I am poor AF so anything under $10 is my jam. If you want to really get in the spirit, I would go balls deeps and drink pink rose right out of an actual wine glass.

4. Stock up on snacks

And what’s TV without snacks? As a basic betch, I like Skinny Pop, anything chocolate, and goldfish with extra salt. I’m also a sucker for any kind of chips.

If you’re on that summer/I-want-to-be-JoJo diet, cut up some celery and carrot sticks, freeze some grapes, or go crazy and make home-made Kale chips. Wow that was boring just to write.

Feeling fancy? Hit up Pinterest.

5. Mentally prepare yourself to be obsessed with JoJo

If you think JoJo killed it in the bachelor (aka her ombre highlights that made you want to die), brace yourself because Bachelorette status will take your definition of perfection to a whole new level.

Krista is a 22-year-old sorority girl who lives in midtown Toronto with her parents. She loves white nail polish, sucks at Instagram, and wishes she could be friends with Jackie Schimmel. Watch her struggle using any type of social media, @KristaKelly33.

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