The Bachelorette Season 12 Episode 1 Recap
In case you missed it, here’s a quick and dirty recap of all of episode one’s best moments…
The episode starts with a really awkward recap of all of JoJo and Ben’s milestone relationship moments from her unicorn entrance, the helicopter kiss, the L-bomb drop, and the promise not to blind-side her. Actually heart-breaking. Switch to shots of JoJo walking around in denim on denim, looking amazing with perfect hair.
She has a quick chat with former Bachelorettes Kaitlyn, Allie and Desiree. Allie gets strategic to focus on compatibility, she tells JoJo to ignore all the people she likes the first night for the first week.
Guy intro time! Jordan actually did play in the NFL, yum. He looks great but his jeans are looking a little too tight if you ask me.
Be careful not to mix up Jordan with Robby, or Chase, they all look the same. Skip to hot Alex, a former U.S. marine, and meet his equally sexy identical twin (bomb is dropped later when he comes out of the limo and you remember he is 5’7”). Bachelor Superfan, James S., is adorable.
Jordan makes a great first impression, just by being hot.
Luke enters on a white horse, amazing. Daniel opens with a Damn Daniel joke that JoJo doesn’t understand, awkward. James Taylor (there’s three James) walks out and it literally looks like Will just put on a toupee, they are twinning. Jonathan is kilt guy in case you’re wondering. The Santa Claus entrance is pretty anti-climatic, but brought a gift and JoJo’s into it! Wells is super cute and walks in with his own a ccapella group. Throughout, Chad critically narrates all the guys from his interview room.
Then the actual conversations start and JoJo is terrified she won’t find love because everyone is being awkward and nervous. Then Jordan comes in and saves the day but then he gets scared and can’t kiss her after a verrry intimate hug. First kiss goes to Will who uses a paper fortune teller – it’s a grandma peck – leaving JoJo feeling awkward and disappointed.
Luckily Jordan comes back to save the night to win the first impression rose.
Ugh then she spends time with Chad, he’s the worst.
Now the fun part, some of the guys start getting hammered, even Santa Claus.
Skip to the male model Daniel who starts poking men’s belly buttons, strips down and jumps in the pool. Even better, Vinny and Nick S. get so drunk they interrupt JoJo during her interview! Nick S. even pushes her off the chair. Too bad, he was cute. I couldn’t find a clip but it is worth watching, about 37 minutes in.
Back to the sober contestants, country boy Luke totally kills it. He does all the right eyebrow raises and gives her a pair of cowboy boots.
Rose ceremony time! Jake Pavelka drops in to make an appearance. Apparently he’s an old family friend…? Next thing you know, he’s telling JoJo that it’s his last chance.. blah blah blah.. JOKES this is all just a fun prank Chris Harrison and me came up with, follow your heart! JoJo is so thankful that Jake showed up because now she feels 100% comfortable with her decision after receiving this groundbreaking piece of advice.
No big surprises about the people get kicked off (Coley, Jake, Jonathan/kilt guy, Nick S., Peter, and Nick S. who is so drunk he is literally just trying to keep his eyes open. By some miracle Hipster stays. Then the guys kicked off leave the house for their interviews and it’s the morning! So they get to engage in public therapy with the bright sunlight behind them, like some weird walk of shame.
Season preview time! Short-guy hot marine and Jordan seem to make it relatively far, so does Grant but it’s hard to tell. Jordan’s twin Bobby also goes far but shocker he may not have broken up with his girlfriend before the show, so does hot squinty country boy. Chad of course stays on for drama, oh and shocker apparently Jordan is “a different person around the guys”. Chad gets violent and they show some very questionable scenes – Chris Harrison steps in, JoJo cries in the streets and there’s even some fight footage. To do a 180 back to Happy Land, the preview ends with JoJo saying she found love, a lot of it, with more than one person… in Thailand.
By Krista Kelly
Krista is a 22-year-old sorority girl who lives in midtown Toronto with her parents. She loves white nail polish, sucks at Instagram, and wishes she could be friends with Jackie Schimmel. Watch her struggle using any type of social media, @KristaKelly33.
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